I know, I know some of you have dirty minds and thought I meant something else when I titled this post as “How to Fake It.” Don’t get me wrong I loved the movie, “When Harry Met Sally” and the scene was quite awkwardly hilarious when Sally proves to Harry that women can fake the big “O”.” But I’m talking about faking something else. Something that not all of us have and wish we did. Some of you might actually be REALLY great at it, or are like me and can “fake it” really well.
I’m talking about confidence. Yep, that’s right you can fake it. I fake it all the time. It wasn’t until my adulthood that I figured out the best technique for myself. Before I share what it is I feel the need to ask you something. Did you ever grow up wishing you had the confidence of someone else? We all had those girls in high school that seemed like they had zero insecurities or maybe it was a celebrity, a sister, cousin, best friend, aunt, neighbor….you catch my drift. There are so many confident women out there. But maybe you never felt that you would ever be THAT confident. Well I’m sure I’m not sharing anything profound when it comes to the truth. EVERYONE has insecurities, even that popular girl back in school. I think we can all agree that we’ve seen enough after-school specials that revealed that truth to us long ago. However, HEARING about it doesn’t mean that we still don’t THINK it can’t be true.
We live in the social media age which means we can’t help but compare ourselves to others. Most of the time you probably don’t even think that you are. If you’re one of those that never battles with your self-image due to social media, then good for you…honestly. You should feel really good about that. But let’s be real. There are probably way more of us out there that battle with the opposite. I could go on and on about this but I’m going to try and stay on topic here. The point of bringing up social media is that it can impact us whether we like it or not. Everyone has a story and here’s mine. I promise to try and keep it short.
I grew up in a broken home and started comparing myself to others in an unhealthy way early on in my life. I love my friends and they took such good care of me and making me feel like I belonged in their world. Now, I know that’s not the best way of wording it because of how melodramatic it makes me sound and I hope when they read it they aren’t offended. THEY never made me feel like that, it was all ME feeling that way. This was true in my mind. You see, I didn’t realize I felt that way until later on after high school. I was always the shy, backward girl that never felt “pretty enough.” My friends were beautiful and confident. I didn’t know how to feel that way so I started working on myself and discovered my creative side when it came to fashion. I used clothing as my way of being outgoing and a way of expressing my personality. When you’re young you worry and care about some of the dumbest things, am I right? Either way I found out a way for me to work on myself and that was through fashion. I actually had a lot of my friends asking for fashion advice or having me do their hair and make-up while helping them get ready for different events. This helped me realize two major important things.
1.) Everyone likes to feel good about themselves and clearly don’t always feel that way.
2.) They wanted MY help. ME! The one with the low self-esteem. It was during moments like these throughout my life from age 16 and up that I knew what I would love to do with my life. I wanted to help gals build their confidence through their wardrobe.
Okay, so I went a little off-track there but it goes with what I’m trying to teach you. When I say you can “fake being confident” I’m convinced you can because I’ve done it my whole teenage to adult life. When I feel good in my clothing, I feel confident. There’s plenty more areas I don’t feel that way but this is one area that helped me grow in my self-discovery of the whole concept of feeling good about myself. I truly believe that when women feel good in their clothing, it increases their perception of themselves. Our bodies are forever changing. EVERYTHING seems to affect it; stress, age, having babies, losing loved ones, etc. The list goes on for miles.
I’m not here to say that dressing in clothing that you love on yourself is going to fix everything but I promise you that it won’t hurt to give it a try. I learned that in order to feel good in your clothing it has to be a reflection of you and your personality. Sure, you can go shopping with a friend and they can tell you, “Yea! That outfit looks so good on you” but you have to believe it yourself. You see, I’ve also gone shopping with friends and showed them an outfit and them think it “looked good” too, but a lot of times I disagree because it doesn’t feel like ME. If something doesn’t feel right on you then you’re not going to feel good in it period. That’s a fact!
Still not convinced that how you feel in your clothing can help with your self-image? Let’s think about a time where it’s important to hold your head up high and make a good impression. It could be for an interview, networking events, meeting the in-laws, or anything along those lines. I promise if you’re wearing an outfit that looks good on you it will make a difference on how you present yourself. Once you start learning ways to feel good in your clothing, it will make something you used to dread turn into something you might actually find fun.
I could’ve made this article much longer on my own personal journey through how fashion changed my outlook on myself, but I’m much more interested in your story. I’d love to be able to help you find yourself through fashion and feel like the best version of yourself. Let’s chat! Click on this link and we can start a dialogue on how I can help you with a free style consult. Can’t wait to hear from you 🙂
Your Faithful Dreamer,